fragmented

this life..fragmented
pieces of you
moments
like long ago memories
there and gone
flashes of light
in the darkness.

you..not here

hungry for your love
dark night
chatter
amongst friends
good friends
laughing, telling secrets
honest and bold friends
hungry for your body
near mine as we mingle
share stories
missing you
in the dark
on the deck
beer in hand
music
friends
you
in my thoughts
on my tongue
you

this is...

this is not new
in the history of our world
leaders out of touch with the people
bloated and arrogant
smug and slick

this is not new
to anyone who has experienced
abandonment, desolation and loss
on a catastrophic level

this is not new
in historic times and now
when thousands are left to starve
or murdered and burried in mass graves

ignorance, soulessness, greed, power,
in a leader
create
rage, anguish, dissolutionment and death
in a people

this is not new
it is contemptible.

sleeping in the sun

i sat with pensive hands
beneath my thighs
knowing all the while
the bell would ring
signaling the end
of this cycle of life

set by unseen hands
a fool to time was i
as i stared outside the
closed doors in solemn wonder
until life's silhouettes passed by
and reminded me

of the days without walls
and words that chide
driving anywhere
my own scheduled playtime
and sleeping...
sleeping in the sun

i still walk those halls
sometimes and peer in
from the outside
the room is filled with still air
musty and cold
and i can hear the familiar tone
of condescendence

unnerved by the familiarity
i walk away
down the corridor
to the light
at the end of the hall
i push the doors wide
open with determined hands
and breathe in the air of freedom

so he sleeps in your bed...

so he sleeps in your bed
yes, but are you warm?
and when he calls you from work
is it to say "i love you"
or to remind you to get his dry-cleaning?
do you feel his arms wrap around you
when you're out with friends,
or the stagnant air between you?
is there a heat between your thighs as he nears,
or do your thoughts turn to mindless chores?

you share his name, address, possessions,
and children, yet...
alone, you cook
alone, you care
alone, you tend
Who is there
to share?

is it not better
to cook
to care
to tend
alone or with a friend
than with a man who lays claim as a husband?

my baggy-jean man

walk with me my baggy-jean man
your casual swager makes me smile
i feel your easy hand in mine
walk with me a while

understated you are
yet i know what's underneath
strong legs following
your purpose-driven mind
i know what i'll find
in those baggy jeans

talk with me my slow-talking man
as i look into the eyes
of my closest friend
you listen with love and good intent
you're heaven-sent

what i wouldn't give
to have my hands
wrapped around
your baggy jeans.

i remember

an empty plate
where once the toasted bagel lie
crispy, buttery in my mouth
i remember

and you, once here on this couch
your arm soft and freckled
against mine
i remember.

the settling

there's an erie silence
just before the settling
and after.

i question
are we now more cemented
in the earth
or less?

remedy in question

darkness blankets my windows
calling forth sleep
to remedy this heaviness

piles of clothes and papers
blanket my floors
calling forth energy
to remedy this heaviness

a strange paradox

a strange paradox
lovers...apart by circumstance
full yet empty
joyful yet sorrowful
together yet alone.

world's greatest mother

look at me
trophy on the shelf
world's greatest mother
i am

i accept with
patience and love
and a tad a wisdom
i am

playful and young
with you two
who wear me
to bare threads
i am

then i rest
and relish in
your joys, content
i am

world's greatest mother
so many claim the title
but to you both
i am.

rainbow - by katie robinson

i can spy the colors
of the rainbow.
i love rainbows.
after the rain
a rainbow comes out.
this poem is for everybody.
what i like best about the sky
is God and the rainbow
and maybe sometimes the rain
since a rainbow comes out after the rain.
rain is so nice and so is God.
I love everybody in my family
and the rainbows and God and the rain
and the flowers too.

by Katie Robinson

color

red, orange, green, purple...
vibrant colors tempting
me to pick one
and another
and color
with a child's eye
i spy the red
exposed, free from wrappings
there for the taking.

web

her web; ancient
as the gleam in your eye
that led you there

torpid from struggle
cemented in time's routine.

pressure

i sat outside, a cool night
dug out the pack of cigerettes
hidden obscurely from sight
its been over 4 months

three matches later
it was lit
as was I
from the wine

i called my grandmother
i'm sorry i said
if iI appeared unsocial
no...but she was concerned
about the children running around
i explained
o.k. ... its over now

i sat there
in my sorry state
then took a break
and came upstairs
saw the IM from my 9 year old niece
"i'm sad...i miss you...
"i'm crying"

I'm here, Kelsey
what's wrong?
"I got a B on my progress report
My mom is so upset"

I understand, Kels
we all feel bad when we think
we've disappointed someone
we all feel bad.

settling dust

don't look too close
i excuse this mess
as month-old dust settles
upon my desk

it lives here
on computer screens
on piano keys
and books of dreams

Among danish plates
and a candle holder
on picutre frames
growing bolder

on children's art
papers in a pile
on stacks of bills
resting there a while

settling, into
a comfortable place
filling the etchings
in the glass vase.

lo, the candles do burn
and the piano sings
the books get read
and the doorbell rings

paintings are drawn
and games are played
while the dust settles
and the bills are paid.

slowly, so slowly
i move down the hall
and clear the dust
last of all.

our garden

you unfold to me
quickly now

no hesitation
no uncertainty
holds us back from our embrace
a place
plentiful with the ripest fruit
a garden to replenish the soul
and breathe in the pure, sweet smelling air
i am at peace here, more than anywhere.

why must we leave?

i want to visit this garden every day
taste its succulent fruit
as i rest in the cool soft grass
warmed by the sun's touch upon my body
and your hand upon my....

oh..why must we leave?

homework

Softly proud, I watch
my attentive son -
thoughts spilling on paper

liquid gold.

wanting

your words like kisses to my flesh
steal me away from the world
your soft fingers exploring
my body achingly slow
and i feel the rising heat
swelling inside me
ready to engulf you.

My favorite poem

Pablo Neruda writes about the love he experienced with his third wife, Matilde Urrutia, something passionalte and profound, but also easy and natural....

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

i'm running out of time
i need to go
i need to go
and leave these thoughts behind

what will be will be
they say
and i prefer to flow
and wait and see
and live fully all the while

i'm off to pray
and hear soothing words
then kiss a newborn's tiny hands
on a boat with friends

from slumber's nest

who shall venture forth
from slumber's nest
this warm and feathered
place we've come to rest

who shall stretch above
high enough to see
what lies beyond the
branches of this tree

who shall brave the wind
and coming rain
search for food to fill
this growing brain

who shall risk to love
beyond whats known
beyond the normal comfort
of this home.

you send me flowers

another hill we climb together
closer now i walk with you
in deep contentment for what is known

like watching the sunrise over the ocean
amazed and thankful for such beauty
filled with love and promise

you hear my frightened words
and comfort me with your reassurance
uncertainty has a way of scaring both of us

you send me flowers
a virtual hug to ease my worries
and i know your heart

this is a timeless love
that carries us through our weakness
and takes us beyond our dreams.

i want to love you

i want to love you
despite my fears
kiss your lips
through these tears

hold you close
till our last days
be your companion
now and always

rest we weary gentlemen

i want to throw cold water on your face
wake you from this slumber
yank you from indecision's grip

.... this i wrote before the call

truth

red river
rapid through my viens
let me coast a while
this i've learned

instict sounds
its dire warning
i turn it down
to hear the truth

let it slowly drip
through my mind's filter
in its purest form
i witness clarity

with open eyes
and a patient stance
let me see truth.

i'm only human
this perky girl
with a smile
for the world

struck by life's
uncertainty
i fear and defend
i can't pretend

yes, im tired
i lost this fight
and im mad
that it happened tonight

blood was drawn all week
from this drained body
i couldn't seem to give enough
its never enough

i wasn't sensitive
i wasn't perky
i wasn't sexy
i wasn't loving

you're a thinker
analzying complex issues
the fate of the nation
cluing me in to impeding tragedy

and i feel the weight
so heavy i want to cry
my head so full
my words come out like bullets

its not me
i am the easy thought
the gentle breeze
the walk on the beach

if you can love me
for me
then i can be this for you
and not a reflection of yourself
because i am not you
and if i try to be
i will surely fail.

wild you

innocence speaking out
let me be
save me from myself
wild, unspoiled energy
memsorizing tamed minds
and bruised hearts

move with me
in your crazed imagination
dance with me
in the flickering light
dare to be you.

waiting

sweetness in the air
a glance,
a touch
a dance

words that flame the fire
never tire
stiring passions
that come in rations

a burning love
timeless, profound
i'm bound

ripping apart
another's heart
i'm bound

love-in
freedom
sex
no condom

endless kissing
forever missing
groping, loving
caressing, touching
then nothing

floating in still water
land seems farther
days seem droll
it takes it toll

stuck on a runway
home on sunday
dreams we're creating
while i lie here waiting.

I Sing by Emily Dickinson

 

I Sing

I sing to use the waiting
My bonnet but to tie,
And close the door unto my house
No more to do have I

‘Till his best step approaching,
We journey to the day,
And tell each other how we sung
To keep the dark away.

- Emily Dickinson

say goodnight

oh joy must sleep as well
say farewell
and shed thy lonely tears
releasing weathered fears

morning light
sometimes makes it right
for a while
we smile

yes, i'll say goodnight
for love's sake
i'll say goodnight.

a time to heal

ever more the light of day
reaches mountains then falls away
taking with it my love devine
that for a moment was all mine

tender hearts in twilight break
alone to feel this terrible ache
that no words of comfort can erase
yet time gives its subtle embrace

and actions make a busy mind
for those who attempt to find
solace in the black and white
one sure answer clear in sight

until our souls can firmly feel
the solid grounding of something real
then slowly can we venture gray
and let love's hand lead the way.

tender raven fallen
alone slowly breathing
short quick breaths
the snow that once fell like tiny feathers
has now hardened to ice
mixed with salt and dirt
i turned away
longing for a song sweet as
honey on my tongue
that makes me forget this cold
cloud-covered afternoon
and the momentary stillness of my heart
as i witnessed death.

somewhere

somewhere sits a couch
of leather
in a home with two
nestled together

somewhere is a yard
of green
where children are heard
not only seen

and a family cooks
and laughs and plays
where no one needs
to count the days

somewhere there's a bed
for lovers
who find their home
beneath the covers

somewhere there's a hand
to hold
and lips to kiss
until we're old

God, this is what
i pray
that somewhere
is not far away.

a perfect heaven

distance can not erase
the sweetness of your voice
or the memories of golden moments
so vivid i can almost feel your hand
in my hair
my world a perfect heaven
and you the creator of this bliss
how can i not love you?
i am drawn to you
with every breath i love you.

let the days move forward
and find me in your arms
pausing to view this divine love.